


Valentine's Day

by antisocialle



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alcohol, Drinking, Irony, M/M, Parody, Smut, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 08:16:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11963382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antisocialle/pseuds/antisocialle
Summary: It was supposed to be the normal Valentine's Day for MCR pack. They were supposed to laugh at idiotic decorations, just to end up drinking, 'cause that's what every normal group of friend is all about, right? Unfortunately, not everything goes the way they wanted and ordinary day of their lives very quickly becomes extremely extraordinary. Especially, when there are huge amounts of alcohol involved.





	Valentine's Day

**Author's Note:**

> It's a piece that I wrote almost two years ago for the sake of celebrating Valentine's Day. Just keep in mind that I wasn't completely sober while writing this, and that English isn't my first language. Anyways, I hope you'll enjoy this ironic parody of every Gerard Way/Frank Iero story I've ever read. Please, don't get offended at some of my jokes, it's not meant to be taken seriously. 
> 
> Polish, older version of the same fanfiction is available on Wattpad if anyone's interested.

I’ll be honest with you – when I walked into this forgotten by god, doomed place, I was expecting everything, literally everything, but _not_ anything near _this._ What happened? Satan’s pit, mother’s nature asshole, got invaded by fairies from _Everything-Is-Pink-Land._  
  
Long story short – this is how 14 th of February looked at my high school.  
  
I felt incredibly emo while I was wandering around hallways that were full of paper hearts and all of those adorable couples. Oh, I guess I’m emo **and** forever alone. There’s nothing to do about that, beside maybe slitting my wrists.  
  
Thank god, I walked into my **#squad** , that looked almost as disgusted as me, while watching all of those decorations that could easily be mistaken by unicorn’s vomit.  
  
“Look, there’s rainbow over theeeereeeeee…” the blonde dude seemed like he’s dreaming.  
  
Oh, I see. There’s also Mikey. But Mikey is a literal state of mind.  
  
“Yeah, there’re fucking rainbows all over the damned place!” Gerard snorted. He crossed his arms on his chest, and his facial expression looked like ‘ _grumpy princess no. 5_ ’. Yeah, I could relate to him in every goddamn situation. On one hand it’s pretty nice, but on the other it means I must be impossibly dramatic. I mean he sure as hell had this kind of attitude. “Seriously, I only spent here about 5 minutes and I already want to get the fuck out of here!”.  
  
“Oh, my favorite ginger bitch is getting angry?” I teased him. Don’t get me wrong, the fact that I liked him didn’t mean I need to be all ‘cinnamon roll’ about it. I grinned when he glared at me for making comment about his hair.  
  
“Fuck off, Frank” he responded shortly, stomping his foot.  
  
“Calm down, we’ll make it out alive…” said Ray, smiling in his typical, hippie way. Oh yeah, the fantastic duo consisting of princess and her minion is back in business! “You know what, I came up with an idea… Today’s the Valentine’s Day, right?”  
  
“NO WAY, HOW THE FUCK HAVE YOU GUESSED IT? The whole hallway is full of bloody love, look over there, there’s a couple that looks like they want to literally eat up each other’s faces!” Okay, I suppose ginger fuck went nuts. Immediately after his rage outburst he walked up to chemistry class. He glared at said couple, that parted their ways, and now I could see how uncomfortable they felt about the whole situation.  
  
Fuck, red haired princess was really pissed today. I mean, he was such an angry dude that I made peace with this being a part of his personality, but even for him it was just _too much._ If only he was a girl, I would easily guess that her period is coming. Unfortunately I was pretty fucking sure he was a dude – I swear to god, I won’t try to mix every known type of alcohol together ever again…  
  
“What’s up with him?” I asked randomly, focusing on him as he was walking away into the direction of school toilet.  
  
It could mean two things – either he’s going for a quick smoke, or he will proceed to angrily masturbate to cope with his feelings. No one, I repeat, no one goes to school toilet to take a piss. I just kept silently praying it was the first option.  
  
“Oh, Lindsay broke up with him today’s morning.” Mikey explained. He was still looking at ridiculously pink time table.  
  
“Really?” Ray looked like he was really worried. He held his hands near his heart, as if to make sure it’s still beating. “What happened? I could swear on my life that they were happy together…”  
  
I didn’t say it out loud, but I thought the exact same thing. They seemed like the happiest couple alive, Gerard and Lindsey. I brushed my tongue against my lip piercing. It was just a thing I did whenever I was thinking about something. Just a stupid habit, that’s all.  
  
“I’m not sure, but I guess since he spent most of the night yelling ‘THIS STUPID-ASS BITCH CHEATED ON ME’ then it means… this stupid-ass bitch cheated on him?” Our little Sherlock just figured out his first mystery, words cannot express how proud of him I was.  
  
But his skills in deduction aside, this whole situation seemed at least a little sketchy. To be honest, I wasn’t too close with my dear friend’s girlfriend, but she always appeared to be a really nice person. But as you could clearly see – appearances can be deceptive.  
  
“Okay, so it means we’ll do everything to cheer him up, right?” Minion asked. “Cause if so, then my parents are out of town and…”  
  
“No!” I yelled along with Mikey. “Don’t you remember what happened last time ‘your parents were out of town’? It was definitely too close for Mikey to end up with wooden stick up his ass!” I embraced protectively the poor guy, which must have looked hilarious, since he’s basically two times taller than me. My favorite teddy bear was looking back and forth at me and Ray.  
  
“Chiiiiiill, I won’t let him get all screwed up!”  he shrugged, as if he wasn’t the organizer of every goddamn party that almost always was ending up with some PTSD-worthy events. Seriously. “We need to cheer him up somehow though! We’ll burn a couple of paper hearts and dance around it, while it’s still burning!”.  
  
You want me to be honest with you on that one? It sounded like some satanic mass rather than some average drinking session. I figured Mikey gave up as soon as he got out of my protective embrace, and then he stood on front of Toro and put his hands on his arms.  
  
“Listen to me, you son of a bitch. Just so you know, you’re a dear friend to me, you keep a special place in my heart and I love you, and even if because of your ‘parents being out of town’ I was near a serious black out or literal death, I can agree to that.” I think my facial expression gave away how I felt about this whole idea. I didn’t like it. At all. “Hey, don’t look at me that way, Frank. I know Gerard well enough that this whole anger outburst is how he copes with shit like this. You know that Lindsey meant the whole word to him.”  
  
I let out irritated sigh, 'cause what else I was supposed to do? No matter how much I hate saying this, the guy was right. Also even though I’m one hella stubborn son of a bitch, I still have a little piece of heart I have to give out to my friends, okay?     
  
~*~  
  
“Where the fuck are you taking me?!” ginger fuckhead’s scream could be heard from miles away. He tried to escape Mikey’s arms. He was supposed to be older brother, but most of the time he was acting like average 6-year-old.  
  
“Calm down buddy, it’s not like we’re going to rape you…” I sighed, but after second I grinned at him, even though he couldn’t see me. “At least I think so.”  
  
“’ _I think_ ' that I won’t kill you, faggot, but I’m not sure yet!” he responded harshly.  
  
Okay, he broke up with his girlfriend, he had a right to be a dick. I mean, he couldn’t even touch me, since Mikey was holding him all this time. I _almost_ felt sorry for him.  
  
“Gerry, don’t be so angry, we’ll need to ‘anesthetize’ you if you won’t calm the fuck down.” Ray added, who was the leader of our pack for now. If people saw us randomly on a street, I’m sure they would think we’re actually getting ready to rape our dear friend. For fuck’s sake, Ray was walking around like he was about to see his birthday present, Mikey was still holding Gerard down, who by the way had eyes covered with a tie, and I was traipsing after them, like this kind of sidekick that secretly everyone hates.  
  
_Just emo things.  
  
_ We were getting closer to minion’s house so our princess was about to calm down completely. I can say whatever the fuck I want about him, but one of the truest things about him was – he was always down to grab a drink. Especially when something was bothering him. As good friends we tried to help him keep it all together, but he was just a kind of person that has no authority that he would listen to.  
  
I think it explained why I call him ‘princess’.  
  
Ray ran over to gate leading to his home, and opened it for us like a real charmer. All of sudden Gerard calmed down.  
  
“What’s up?” I heard nervous question. Oh, our _UnicornLover2000_ was quite uneasy at the moment.  
  
“I know the way Ray’s gate creak, buddy. Anyway, according to my incredible deduction skills, if we’re going to Ray’s place, it means huge amount of alcohol is going to get involved. I see that you couldn’t keep your mouth shut about me and Lindsey breaking up, but feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, _Mikey_.” He tried to keep his head up all the time to let everyone know how self-confident he felt in that exact moment. Funny thing was, even with his head so high, he still was shorter than his younger brother. “I mean if you just asked me I would totally tell you the truth, which is – I don’t give a bloody fuck. But anyways, since you bought me some alcohol I’m gonna act like I’m depressed because of this situation.”  
  
Sneaky motherfucker, this Way brother, isn’t he? I thought to myself that finally his hair color matches his personality – he had attitude of average ginger bitch, gotta watch out for these.  
  
We came into the house. With a corner of my eye I saw four full bottles of vodkas.   
  
“Are you fucking nuts?!” I yelled. Meanwhile Ray was smiling innocently. “You know it won’t take too much to get me blacked out, I will pass out after drinking less than half of this bottle! I can’t get wasted, 'cause you know damn well that whenever I’m drunk, there are some weird things happening!” I couldn’t help but blush at the memory of my last drinking session.  
  
“Calm your tits, Gerard will drink yours as well. He’ll fall asleep, or rather pass out, you know, he won’t last a month without getting completely wasted.” Toro replied politely.  
  
I rolled my eyes at him. I couldn’t disagree with him, but I had this strange feeling that something’s weird, it just seemed out of place. I knew that princess was a heavy drinker, but he was worse than usual. He drank too much without any sense of self-preservation. I started playing with my lip ring again.  
  
This ginger fuck already made himself comfortable on couch. He looked a little bit too comfortable with his legs crossed on a table. He didn’t even bother to take off his boots. I was too tired to even comment on that, I just sat by his side. I felt like I should keep an eye on him.  
  
~*~  
  
My brilliant idea consisting of babysitting Gerard burst like a fucking bubble when I laid my hands on this heavenly liquid. I have no idea why I drank so much. Maybe I was sick of it all, sick of how everything in my life was constantly turning to shit, maybe I was sick of being alone, since my girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago? I don’t know. Anyway, I behaved like a total idiot, because before I even noticed, I was hella drunk. I have to clear up – I was aware of what was going on around me and so on,  but I felt how with every second my boundaries were disappearing. I was afraid that if it continues to happen, it’s going to end up pretty badly.  
  
It’s not like I couldn’t or didn’t want to get wasted. It wouldn’t be a problem at all, Ray’s parents were barely at home, so I could sleep in a fucking bathtub, like it’s no one’s business. Also, there’s no point in hiding it – I wanted to get incredibly drunk, and I’m pretty sure I’d do that if it wasn’t for one little thing I noticed about a month ago.  
  
The thing is – I started developing some kind of feelings toward Gerard. At the very beginning I tried to make up a lot of excuses – maybe it was just my hormones? Maybe it was this way because I haven’t had opportunity to smash in a long time? Maybe, but it was getting pretty bizarre. Every time I seen him my heart was beating a little bit too fast for my taste, when he was getting closer I was blushing like innocent, young virgin. I felt shivers going down my spine whenever he was touching me, even by accident, and sometimes, when I was letting my thoughts race wherever the fuck they wanted to, I imagined how fucking awesome it would be to grab him by his scarlet hair and kiss him breathless.  
  
Fuck, I was constantly looking at his ass whenever I had opportunity, especially on courses we’ve shared together. Every time he was walking up to blackboard I was unable to ignore his goddamn ass that looked incredible in those tight ass pants he owned. I was still trying to excuse it with hormones, but that’s complete and utter bullshit.  
  
Frank, let’s face it – you have a crush on Gerard.  
  
Holy shit, drinking made it look so clear and easy. Only one part of me that remained sober was stopping me from letting go and didn’t let me do anything I wanted to do.  
  
I was so caught up in my own thoughts that it took me some time to realize that someone was talking to me.  
  
“Oi, you midget!”  
  
“Fuck off!” My response came out automatically. I hated it when someone was referencing my height. I hated my height in general, no one ever took me seriously. I was always midget, runt and dwarf. “What do you want?”  
  
“We’re getting cigs.” Ray explained, pointing to Mikey that stood behind him.  
  
“Are you fucking kidding me? The store is like good half of an hour from here!”  
  
“Mikey needs to get out, he was drinking a little bit too quickly.”  
  
“That’s what’s happening when you’re trying to be all macho and drink without chasers!” Gerard snorted, taking huge sip right from the bottle. He seemed to forget about his own warning.  
  
“Whatever. We’ll be back in… I have no idea. Gimmie cash, Bilbo.” I couldn’t help but glare at him for that comment, but I still ended up giving him some of my money I kept in my pocket.  
  
I wasn’t sure if my brain was fucking with me, but I was pretty fucking sure our beloved cinnamon roll just smiled at me like some kind of sick pervert and winked at me.  
  
I soon enough forgot about it, 'cause I’ve realized it’s only me and Gerard now.  
  
Keep your hands to yourself, you fucking alcoholic. You’re straight. You’re horny just 'cause you woke up too late for a mini jack off session this morning. That was it, nothing more.  
  
“You know what?” Ginger decided to break this uncomfortable silence. “If I’m being honest… I can’t handle it.” He confessed taking another sip. “I don’t know what I did wrong. I mean I was always there for her, and she just…”  
  
“What?” I decided to use this opportunity and ask him around. There weren’t a lot of times when Way was so open and honest.  
  
“She cheated on me. But you’ll flip when you’ll find out with whom.” He chuckled sadly, looking in a different direction.  
  
“Go on.”  
  
“With Jamia.”  
  
What the actual fuck?! It was getting weirder and weirder every goddamn second. That’s right, you guessed it, Jamia was my ex.  
  
“All out of blue she decided that she’s not straight anymore. From what I heard they played spin the bottle and they were supposed to kiss. Ended up with a quickie in the bathroom.” He sighed.  
  
“Dude, don’t worry… I mean you can’t tell me I don’t know how it feels like.” I smiled a little. Coming up with full sentences was getting more and more difficult. “She’s just a dumb cunt, that’s all.”  
  
Gerard looked at him, I didn’t need to observe him from too close to see how drunk he was. Damn, I’ve never noticed how pretty his eyes were. Seriously, not completely brown, but nor completely green. Just… awesome. I’m a guy, I don’t know colors that well, okay?  
  
I felt how nervous I was getting, so I bit my bottom lip. I think this habit will stay with me to the end of my life, it always made me calmer in a weird way.  
  
“I like your piercing.” I heard his comment. He was looking at me very carefully. Shit, he was too close. I felt how my entire face is turning into something similar to a tomato. I licked my lip ring, tasting cold metal on my tongue. “But don’t do it anymore…” He added with indirect warning in his tone, but it wasn’t his usual way of doing so. He sipped again, but he refused to stop looking at me. I felt like a bunny that’s being chased by a wolf. Long story short – I had no chances with him.  
  
For fuck’s sake, Way, stop looking at me this way because if you continue to do that I’ll throw myself onto you screaming “Give me that Trump Tower, daddy!”.  
  
“Th-thanks, I guess? Also… I’m sorry?” Hell, I did it again. I licked the damn ring. Great, apparently I have no control over my body. Just fucking beautiful, I feel like my worries about molesting my friend are going to turn into reality.  
  
Like a real man supposed to, Gerard smashed empty bottle on the table. I flinched like a typical pussy, but what can I say? I never said that I’m true macho.  
  
“Iero.” Is it alcohol’s fault or my last name really did sounded so unbelievably sexy when he was saying it? “I want to fuck you.”  
  
What.  
  
The fuck.  
  
I thought my jaw actually hit ground, but I couldn’t care less about it. Did he really just said that? Did Gerard Fucking Way just said that he wants to fuck me? No, it must be some kind of mistake. I pulled my hair behind my ear.  
  
“What? I’m not sure if I catch that…”  
  
Ginger got closer to me. He was so close that I could feel his breath all over my face. Normally I’m not fan of smell of cigarettes and alcohol, but the way he smelled like them made it the sexiest smell in the world. He placed his hand on my neck, he balanced on top of me using the other one.  
  
“I said that I want to fuck you.” He repeated in a very serious tone.  
  
He was getting closer and closer. My ‘gay side’ was already pissing its' pants from happiness and I was about to kiss his devastatingly attractive lips, but something brought me back to my senses.  
  
“Gerard, no.” I couldn’t believe I just said that. Did I just refused to give myself up to this literal sex machine? “Listen, you’re going to regret this by tomorrow’s morning. I don’t want alcohol to ruin our friendship.” I wanted to cry, that’s how horny I was. Seriously, I felt like my entire body was screaming for me to stop talking nonsense and just let him do whatever the hell he wanted to do to me. But, my brain kept yelling ‘ _veto!_ ’. Try to be smart in this situation. I’m old enough to think with my brain, not my dick.  
  
Gerard fell back onto the other side of the couch. Immediately, I felt the urge to pull him back in. I wanted to memorize the way he smelled, I wanted to feel his warm breath all over my face, I wanted to feel his cool hand against my hot skin.  
  
The problem is, life isn’t some shitty fairy tale.  
  
“I’m sorry” He sighed. He covered his face with his hands. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. Alcohol makes you look at least thousand times better than you actually do.”  
  
Ouch. It hurt. But fuck this, that’s not the point.  
  
“It’s okay.” I hesitated for a second before I patted his head.  
  
God, how I want to pull his hair and…  
  
“It’s not what I meant!” He yelled suddenly. I immediately went back to my side of the couch. I think I had a heart attack. “Actually, I can be honest with you this one time. You know why Lindsey cheated on me?”  
  
“'Cause she was a stupid cunt?”  
  
“No!” he hissed, getting closer all of sudden. He pointed his finger at me. “It’s your fault!”  
  
What the fuck do you mean by that?!  
  
“I had a crush on you for quite some time, now! There were no day in which I didn’t compare her to you! Somehow, in the end, you appeared to be million times better! I don’t know what’s so attractive about you, you don’t have boobs, first off, you’re a goddamn dude, you look like retarded emo…”  
  
You’re a real charmer, princess. I’m sure every girl would fall for it.  
  
“… But your innocent, brown eyes, fringe that constantly cover up most of your face, your height and just the way you _are_ is driving me crazy! Also, your goddamn lip ring that you lick whenever you’re bothered by something, I haven’t seen anything sexier in my whole life!”  
  
Holy fuck, I think I’m losing it. Is it possible to have hallucination from drinking too much?  
  
“Lindsey snapped at me when I called her ‘Frank’ during sex!”  
  
Can someone remind me how am I supposed to breathe?  
  
“This is why she cheated on me! Do you understand now?” He placed his hands on my shoulders.  
  
Calm down, Frank, just think about…  
  
WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU PLACED YOUR STUPID ASS KNEE, YOU IMBECILE?!  
  
“G-gerard, we can talk this t-through, I don’t have h-hearing loss, can we do t-this like civilized people...?” I tried to remember all scenes from 2girls1cup just so my penis won’t stand in all of its’ glory. But, if he moves his knee once more even 2kids1sandbox won’t help me…  
  
“You have no idea how I lose my shit because of you, for fuck’s sake…” He shifted and that was his mistake.  
  
I tilted my head as chocked moan escaped my mouth.  
  
It happened, he finally got properly introduced to my small companion.  
  
Is it even possible, can you be this fucking sexually frustrated because of someone’s knee?!  
  
I wasn’t able to return to my previous pose. I felt as he was looking all over my body. At least he shut up.  
  
“… I see.” He stated finally. I didn’t need to look at him to know he was smirking at me with this typical annoying manner.  
  
Suddenly my vision became full of strands of red hair. I felt his hand tracing the length of my thigh. His knee remained dangerously close to my raging boner. Get off of my lawn!  
  
When I felt his warm and wet lips at my own I saw millions of fireworks before my eyes. Is this fourth of July all over again?  
  
Oh, they were as colorful as rainbows.  
  
They made up incredibly accurate sentence: **You fucking faggot!**  
  
Well, I couldn’t care less. Hell was threat for me since I started dyeing my hair black, so I finally let go and pulled him closer. I kept grabbing and pulling and messing with his hair with my right hand. The left one was tracing the curve of his spine. He sighed with approval.  
  
Oh, it’s not like I was any less gay than him in that situation. I swear, not one of my fantasies was accurate when it comes to this situation. Feelings that were attacking me all at once were impossible to bear. My brain always thought it was just a normal activity. In reality it felt like some kind of out of body experience.  
  
I became one trembling mess when he placed his hand under my shirt. I felt like the gayest loser in the world when he touched my lower stomach. That’s when three things happened: I moaned right into his mouth, scratched his back and pushed up my hips into the direction of his crotch.  
  
I swear, I couldn’t be more gay for him.  
  
But, there was one thing that cheered me up. Someone also enjoyed the way things have turned, and it was no other than Gerard’s little friend. I wouldn’t be lying if I said that it felt as he was liking it even more than me. Seriously. Or he put a fucking rock into his boxers, that could have happened too.  
  
I thrust into him. _For science_.  
  
Loud moan that escaped his mouth was probably the sexiest sound I have ever heard. I scratched his back again. He seemed to enjoy it. Someone’s into that kind of shit? As if it couldn’t be crazier.  
  
Then happened something that made me think that maybe this son of a bitch is able to read my mind. He bit my piercing and tugged by it. It hurt like a bitch.  
  
Well, but with all that pleasure I was getting from the whole experience it went almost unnoticed. Little bit of pain wasn’t a scary idea in that case. For real. I swear I could see a pride parade before my very own eyes. There were fucking unicorns with gay flags. Their leader was no other than… Mikey. He was singing “It’s okay to be gay”.  
  
Brain, what the actual fuck?  
  
Because of my fucked up visions I didn’t process the moment when mister Way said hello to my unbuttoned pants that he immediately pulled down. Please, don’t do it, I’m a virgin!  
  
“Mhmmmmm” I made a strange, unidentified sound. I’m almost sure that it meant to say something between the lines of ‘Listen, buddy, there’s no need to rush, but you could already start doing _something,_ am I right?’.  
  
He suddenly stopped moving. Where did I go wrong?  
  
He laid his forehead on mine.  
  
“Jeez, you have no idea how much you’re turning me on right now.” He said, looking directly into my eyes. The only thing I could see in them was pure desire. I could swear he looked completely sober. “Just letting you know, you don’t need to hold back.”  
  
Boy, if I wasn’t holding back I would start saying some really dirty and weird shit.  
  
“If you say so.” I muttered looking away from him. I knew myself for over 19 years and I knew how my ‘you don’t need to hold back’ would end up like. After few of my sentences his dick would become the flattest thing in history of flat things and, well, sorry kiddos, there’s no Christmas this year!  
  
See? This is what I’m talking about.  
  
He sucked up on my neck. This little fuck wanted to give me a nice hickey right there. I would protest, but the process of leaving this mark on my neck was too enjoyable to make him stop. I actually forgot about the consequences of this, but it was better this way.  
  
His hand was still stroking the space near my, well, _masculinity._ I doubt this useless thing deserved such a title. I actually got pissed at him for _fucking_ with me. That’s not what to do with a guy that has irritating boner in his pants.  
  
“Gerard, I swear to god, you have to options – you’re done fucking with me, or the only thing that’s going to be left for you is jacking off to my pictures.” I hissed. Because he needs to know who’s the boss here. _Who am I kidding?_  
  
He pulled my hair and bit the place where he left a hickey.  
  
No, no, he didn’t do it in this sexy and playful kind of way. He actually wanted to hurt me. Before I had a chance to react, his knee pushed my crotch.  
  
“Jesus Christ” I said breathless.  
  
Well, as far as I know, it wasn’t Jesus Christ, but Gerard Way, the best piece of ass on this planet, but I could be wrong.  
  
I didn’t really care, it could be our lord and savior and I would still beg him to continue to do that.  
  
I think he definitely heard my thoughts, cause he decided to thrust into me with all of the strength he had left. Even though it wasn’t the most graceful movement, it probably looked hilarious from someone else’s point of view, but I swear, there were irritating layers of clothing that kept me away from orgasm of the year.  
  
I desperately grabbed his glorious ass, and kissed him once again.  
  
His ass was not only looking good, I felt like I had world’s greatest treasure in my hands. How did he managed to have this amazing piece of ass? Honestly, I immediately felt bad for how fucking useless I looked and probably felt, compared to him.  
  
My thoughts on his ass stopped once Gerard did a very important thing that I should involve in my biography. What he did? _He released the Kraken.  
  
_ Holy.  
  
Shit.  
  
My.  
  
Dick.  
  
Was.  
  
In.  
  
His.  
  
Hand.  
  
It felt like paradise and if this is what it actually looks and feels like, then I wanted to die in this very moment and cherish this memory forever.  
  
In this moment my _pussiness_ let me know that it still existed. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to play with his toy as well, or if I should just leave it the way it was. I didn’t know, Gerard, you useless, sexy bastard, help me.  
  
He didn’t help me but made me feel even more lost, because he started slowly moving his hand. Oh god, I’m an atheist, but I swear I know what my personal heaven looks like.  
  
Before it all occurred to me, I moaned into his mouth like professional porn star. I didn’t care that this sound could be heard all over the place. Or rather neighborhood for that matter. Or town, actually.  
  
Just before I was sure I will **nut** , a few things happened.  
  
We saw Mikey and Ray, just before our very eyes, and their faces were full of disgust.  
  
Gerard momentarily pushed himself away from me and vomited on the fucking floor.  
  
I was laying there the whole time, with my dick out.  
  
Fuck me.  
  
Before I managed to pull my pants back up and hide my precious friend, princess blacked out. He collapsed on his vomit.  
  
How fucking drunk was he?  
  
“Okay, I suggest we’ll lay him somewhere?” said Mickey, observing my red face, messy hair and saliva all over my lips.  
  
Without saying a word we took him upstairs to one of the rooms.  
  
When we came back, Ray was already sitting at couch, smoking one of the cigarettes they bought. Without getting it out of his mouth he just gave a pack to me. Without protesting I took one out and lighten it. I slowly let the smoke escape my mouth.  
  
“Sorry. We wanted to give you a little more time, but we knew Gerard’s going to black out sooner or later.” Ray shrugged.  
  
“I mean it’s incredibly awkward situation, but we hope you’re not mad.”  
  
I hoped that alcohol would make a good excuse for what I was about to say.  
  
“No. At least I know that next time he’ll drink I shouldn’t make foreplay any longer than necessary.” I said at last. 


End file.
